Kelley and the Blog: March 2011

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Kelley: 0 Mother Nature: 1...Part 2

And we continue with the saga of Mother Nature vs. Kelley.....

I felt like I drove for hundreds of miles while being on I94 in total white out conditions. I didn't really pay much attention to my odometer at that point. If someone told me I drove across North Dakota in that blizzard, I would have believed them. I really had no sense of time or direction while driving into 60 mph winds. I was too distraught and too focused on getting off that awful interstate. Yes, I know...being distraught and focused at the same exact time doesn't make much sense. I was trapped in a Taurus of emotion! HAH! Get it?? Anchorman?? Alright then...

After driving with no guidance for about 3 minutes (a horrible 3 minutes at that), I finally came across a black Durango pulled off on the shoulder. I figured since it was a beast of a car, it would be best to follow them where ever they were going. I made it a Blizzard 101 Rule of mine that when there's a blizzard, icy roads, tornadoes, hurricanes or any other force of nature you follow a large vehicle because they can plow through most of anything. Which really isn't the truth, but it made me feel better thinking that while driving. I pulled up behind my black knight Durango along with another car that desperately wanted to get off I94, as well. I looked in my rear view mirror and it was an itty-bitty cherry red Chevy Cavalier which was driven by a horrified looking girl. Sigh...if only we were scared for that reason instead of a stretch of road.

Now, I would like to mention I had absolutely no idea where I was on the interstate. The only landmark I saw was an exit sign and ramp, but I passed by it because I had no clue where it led to. Mr. Durango decided to make his move and made a U-turn onto some type of gravel road right off the interstate. I followed his lead along with Miss Cherry Red Cavalier. And then I saw what I thought was a flicker of hope. The Durango flashed blue and red lights in his rear window. POLICE! We were saved! I instantly calmed down and quickly called my mom and Keith to let them know that the black knight was a police officer.

We made our way up the little road and I finally realized we were at the exit I passed up previously. I apparently didn't get very far. There was a clutter of cars huddled together off the exit and Mr. Durango Police Officer decided to keep going and drove on by. I thought this was a little peculiar that he didn't really stop to take notice at all those cars, but I just told myself he wanted others to follow him because he knew the way back to Bismarck or to another safe haven. So we kept driving down what I would like to refer to as a "Bob's Road" which translates into "Nobody knows where the heck we are" road. But that didn't bother me because I was following what I THOUGHT was a police officer. Turned out he wasn't after I saw he wasn't in uniform when he hopped out of his car to clear his wiper blades. He was just some average Joe. Clearly my mind was playing tricks on me and made me believe I saw little beacons of red and blue hope flashing on his car. I guess that's what happens when you're in panic mode. But I decided to keep following him and hope he knew where he was going.

While I was playing Follow the Leader with Mr. Durango, I called Keith a couple times to play "Where in the North Dakota is Kelley Eukel?" I was in a post distraught mood after getting off the interstate so I was rambling off random land marks to Keith, and flat out begged him to Google my location. "Keith! I'm going past Apple River Cemetery! I'm on 22nd Ave SE! There's railroad tracks! Now how do I get back to Bismarck!?" Keith couldn't find where I was and rightfully so. I don't even think Magellan or Christopher Columbus could find me.

So in our convoy of vehicles, we had Mr. Durango leading the way, followed by me, along with Miss Cherry Red Cavalier and probably 5 other cars. As we were driving along, we hit a white out spot and I brought everybody to a halt. After it passed, Mr. Durango disappeared. There was absolutely no sign of him what-so-ever. I kept driving a little ways hoping to catch up with him, but he was gone-zo. He seriously vanished into thin air, and there I was leading a caravan of cars on Bob's Road. Ohhhhh drats. I led the way for about 2 minutes and saw what was probably the best sight in the entire world. A white Chevy Silverado pickup truck just chilling at an intersection. He wasn't stuck....he was just sitting there watching my caravan come up to him.

I made the quick decision to turn off at that intersection and hoped Miss Cherry Red Cavalier would follow along with the others, but they didn't. They kept driving on Bob's Road. I rolled down my window and the white knight pickup did as well. He was an old farmer/rancher type...the kind you see hanging out in Hallock :) I asked him where in the world I was, how far was Bismarck from here and if there were any roads to take to get back there. He could definitely tell I had a heck of time already so he flat out said, "Bismarck is about 15 minutes away, but the back roads to get there are all drifted over and you can't see a thing. The road you were driving on and the direction you were going wasn't leading you anywhere.You are more than welcome to come out to my house and stay with my family, " AHHHHH!! Those were the golden words I was longing to hear. I immediately said yes and I was following my white knight to safety.

After driving over some pretty iffy drifts on a gravel road, we finally made it to his house. We walked in and his wife and 2-year-old grandson welcomed me immediately. I gave my little spiel about how I came to be out here and Jeannie (the wife) was SO kind that she offered me a beer to calm my nerves. Of course, I graciously accepted :) The house was actually their two sons' and girlfriends place and they were about the same age as me so it was very easy to get along with them. They fed me, gave me a couple more beers, chit-chatted with me and gave me a nice warm bed to sleep in for the night. I slept my horrible drive away and woke up to sun shine and visibility for miles! I wasn't able to leave their house until noon because Charles (my white knight) said the gravel roads weren't plowed yet and he needed to take his huge Case tractor and plow a get-away route from the driveway to the road.

I said goodbye to everybody and thanked them a million times over for everything they did and I made my way out to a main highway that led to Bismarck. It only took me 30 minutes to get back. The family I stayed with was one of the most genuinely nicest people I have ever met, and I am so incredibly grateful toward them for taking me in. Only in rural North Dakota can you find a nice farmer man to take a stranded driver in and take care of them. Now, lesson learned though. If you have some fun things planned like going to a baby shower and Mother Nature is uber cranky, stay home and don't mess with her :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Kelley: 0 Mother Nature: 1...Part 1

Mother Nature has been one crabby lady lately, and I never want to poke fun or trifle with her....ever again.

You have to admit, there have been times when she thinks she is being so BAMF that she scares you into thinking you can't travel anywhere because a few snow flakes are falling. I laugh at her and say, "You ain't got nothing." But then there are the other times where she rages on you for not taking her seriously, and that's when I take a step back and say, "Yes, ma'am. Whatever you say, ma'am!"

I kind of shake my head at people who think that they can take on Mother Nature's full-blown winter storms and icy, snow packed roads and THINK they can travel 30 miles in the 30 minutes it usually should take. Typically, those 30 minutes turn into an 1 1/2 hours and their trip is botched because they either have to turn around or have to stay over night at an interstate rest stop. Just giving my opinion, but I don't find that to be a very enjoyable time. So why do people want to risk being stranded in their car at a rest stop or worse, in a ditch during the middle of winter? But I will tell you why people try to take on Mother Nature after I encountered a "lack of better judgment" moment or what is better described as an "outrageously mental" episode that overtook my brain on Friday.

I wanted to so desperately make it to my sister's baby shower this weekend. It was the very first baby shower planned for her and her very first baby, who so happens to be my very first nephew (SIDENOTE: Due date is in April :) I wasn't going to miss it and nothing was going to stop me from missing it. But Too-Tall Tom Szymanski kept foreshadowing an ominous storm that would take place this weekend. Pshhh, whatever Too-Tall Tom. I'm not listening to you...like I've done for the last 18 years you've been on T.V. When Friday rolled around, I woke up to a bright, happy sun beaming through my bedroom and not a cloud in the sky in Bismarck. As I started to make my way to work around 7:30 am, I turned on the radio and that awfully annoying warning noise came blaring through my Taurus. You know the one that is like the most annoying sound in the world? Yeah...that one. Mr. Roboto voice came on warning me to take cover because we were in a blizzard warning. Ahem...excuse me Mr. Roboto. It's sunny and 35 out, and I think you're lying. I changed the radio station and listened to a little Kidd Kraddick. Which by the way, is a horrible syndicated radio morning show based somewhere in the South. It's like E! News but with annoying southern people talking about last night's episode of the Bachelor. Why I listen to it still, I have no clue. I'm prone to horrible entertainment.

When I took my lunch at 12:30 and I decided to take a little stroll outside and fill up with gas for the trip. I was expecting to be greeted by that big ball of shining happiness up in the sky and crystal blue skies, but there was no bright shining ball. Hmmm. What happened here? Rain started to sprinkle down with a few random snow flakes. Nothing I've never seen before, so clearly I didn't think this would stop me from making my way to the cities. I checked the temperature and it was a solid 33 degrees out. Nothing was freezing, just a big sloppy mess on the roads. No biggy. Nothing I can't handle.

I made my way back to the office to do some more work and go to a 2:00 meeting. I kept checking the temperature and road reports and everything was still looking okay. It wasn't below freezing and I94 had the little blue and white dots scattered all the way to Fargo which meant sloppy and sloshy roads. And again, no biggy. My boss and I had our meeting a little early so I could ski-daddle out a few hours early so I could make it to the Cities that night. 2:30 rolled around and I was free to go! Went back to my desk to check the road report one last time and a flash of red caught my eye. I94 was closed from Dickinson to Bismarck, which wasn't like that 30 minutes ago, but the road from Bismarck to Fargo was still paved with those little blue and white dots. I thought, "Pshh, my roads are clear from Bis to Fargo. I'll be able to beat whatever it is that's supposedly coming."

I walked outside and it was a bit colder from when I went out at noon. The parking lot was a little bit slicker and the rain turned into big flakes of snow. Now you would have guessed this would have been a good indicator that MAYBE I should have re-thought my travel plans. Nope. I still had that determination to get to the cities because it was my sister's FIRST baby shower. I talked to my mom and she said Fargo had nothing there, so that sealed the deal for me. I decided to venture out. The main road I took to get to the interstate was a little slippery, but I didn't mind driving a few miles slower than usual. I got into the right hand turning lane that would lead me onto the interstate ramp, and started to make the descent down the little hill onto I94. Once my car was fully on the interstate, I came to the horrible realization that I made a VERY bad choice.

I probably didn't even drive 2 miles and it was total white out at some points. I kept telling myself, "You've driven in this before. It will get better. Take your time, drive slow, and make sure you follow somebody." After about 10 minutes of being on I94, I wanted off. I was leading a caravan of cars into a white abyss and I was beginning to become terrified. The roads were thick with ice and I couldn't see 2 feet in front of my car. I decided to pull off on the shoulder as far as I could so I could have others pass me because I did not feel comfortable taking lead in this mother of a storm. Once I saw a pick-up truck in front of me, I decided to follow the leader with them. I did not take my eyes off their glowing red tail lights for a millisecond, but then after that millisecond passed, I couldn't see the tail lights anymore, and I felt like the only car on the interstate. Shear panic took over me. My hands never shook so much before, and I had no clue what to do. It seemed like I was agitating Mother Nature on one of her PMS days, and I hoped she would take some Midol so I could turn around and go back to Bismarck.

Dum Dum Dummmmmmm!!! What will happen next?! Will Kelley and her faithful Taurus find their way out of Mother Nature's white maze of snow and ice?! And will Mother Nature ever learn to take a chill pill?! Stay tuned!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Kelley and the Crib

I never realized how far away Bismarck really was compared to all my family and friends. It's a 2 1/2 hour drive to Fargo where Tony and Heidi and a big handful of my friends live. It's a solid 4 1/2 hour drive back to Hallock, which after 24 years, I finally realized it's the most peaceful place in all of Minnesota, and a mind-numbing 6 hours to the Cities where my very pregnant sister, Maureen, and her black bearded husband, Brian, live. Oh! Which by the way, Keith's parents are only a 5 minute drive from Maureen's and Brian's house, and a 40 minute drive from his sister's. And then there's Keith.....well he's just a 5 hour plane ride away, but in car hours it converts to 17 hours. He wins the prize for "Person Who Lives the Farthest from Kelley!"

I figured it would be awhile before I would be able to host you all out in Bismarck, so I thought it would be nice to give a virtual tour of my bachelorette pad! AKA the one bedroom apartment. But before I turn into Tour Guide Barbie, I feel a story coming on.....

When I took the job out in Bismarck, my current boss said he wanted me to start two weeks after I signed all the work papers. I said to him with confidence, "Sure thing! I'll be there in two weeks!" But in reality, I was thinking, "Ohhhhhh darn." Two weeks really wasn't very long to pack everything up and move into a new place 200 miles away. Even though I was pretty pumped to be starting a new job, I was NOT pumped about the actual moving part. I have a notorious history of becoming a LITTLE crabby when moving day comes along. But there was hope! Bobcat was VERY good to me and gave me a moving company to haul everything I owned out to Bismarck. That was a huge check off my list and a huge relief. Next was to find a place to move all my things into.

I decided to recruit my mom to come out to Bismarck with me to hunt for an apartment. I never had to look at apartments by myself before, so my mom was the perfect person to have for the hunt. She asked all the important questions like "How is security here? Have their been any previous problems with the appliances? Where do you need to drop off the rent check?" And I asked, "How big is the closet?" Which I felt was an equally important question :) The whole apartment hunting process was a lot like "Goldie Locks and the Three Bears." I made appointments to just three apartments and wanted to sign a lease before the end of the day. The first apartment we saw was super close to my work, but it just didn't seem homey enough (This porridge is too hot!). The second apartment was pretty old and smelled pretty funky (This porridge is too cold!) Then the third apartment was awesome (This porridge is just RIGHT!). It was in the newer part of town in a quiet neighborhood, very homey and it didn't smell funky. We have a winner!

So that's the story of the hunt for an apartment....shall we begin the tour now? I just cleaned right before I took the pictures. I wanted to have that HGTV feel to it...